Whew! Those three words alone bring out all kinds of feelings don't they?
LET'S JUST JUMP RIGHT INTO IT, SHALL WE?
In the last few months I have come to a realization. I realized that keeping your pre-mom identity (who you are to your very core; your dreams, your talents, your interests) separate from your new title "mom" is very important and also a p r o c e s s .
I need to be EVERYTHING to EVERYONE.
I have to do EVERYTHING I've ever wanted to do in life RIGHT THIS SECOND.
I want people to know that I (can) do more in life than change diapers.
But I know that being a mom is the most important job to be done!
I need to SLOW DOWN and take it ONE DAY AT A TIME.
But I want to be doing my artistic pursuits full time.
I am so blessed and I am CONTENT.
I shouldn't post so much of my babies on social media.
But I love my babies so dang much that I can't help but post them!
These are all feelings and thoughts I have on a regular basis if I'm being 100% transparent with you.
And, truthfully, the list could go on...
Social media can be an incredible tool used to connect with others, grow your business, etc. but lets get really real. Sometimes, if we let it, it can be a mind trap, a heart wrecker, and a playground for comparison. Key words: IF. WE. LET. IT. That is completely in our own control. Though, while we are scrolling through image after image, it can sometimes feel like its surely someone else's fault for these feelings that arise in us.
These social platforms are all about sharing and posting your life - well, my life is (mostly) twin baby boys right now. Before I let petty insecurities flood my mind and heart, I typically feel quite confident, happy, and purposeful in the life I am living everyday. Having twin baby boys IS a dream and it's my reality. Yes, I would enjoy pursuing my creative endeavors full time right about now, but then I remember that I am pursuing the most important endeavor of all, motherhood. I wanted a baby, and instead, I got TWO! Double the work and double the reward! For every two dirty diapers I change, there are two smiling, warm, snuggly boys who love me unconditionally and think I'm hilarious (for now).
I absolutely without a doubt LOVE being a mom. Specifically to my two little bundles of joy. Truly, they are insanely joyful.
Alright you guys, please stick with me through some very raw honesty coming from the depths of my SOUL.
I see these moms on Instagram, who are often many years older than I am and with children much older than my own, and I think "my gosh I need to get my act together" along with other dramatic, ridiculous things.
Then I'll see girls who aren't moms, but are killing it at their dreams right now; design, photography, blogging, etc. and I think "I wish I was doing creative things that I love doing like they are"..
But you know what? Good for them! Good for them for living their life and their dreams. I admire them! I really do! But when I'm having an insecure moment, I envy them.
Comparison has to END.
It takes away the joy of right now.
Recently, I let comparison take some joy away from my motherhood. Not completely, but definitely a huge chunk of it was missing. I was bogged down by feeling inadequate. Who the heck was I trying to impress? Who has that much power over me that I would lose my joy for MY motherhood for? The answer? No one. No one has that power over me. I freely and willingly gave away my joy to others and put unrealistic expectations on myself. Subconsciously, yes. Nonetheless, it was given. I don't intend on returning to that low place and thankfully I have a husband who cares for my heart in ways I don't even know I need and friends who love me enough to consistently encourage me.
Overall, I really love my life. I have learned that I don't want or need to hide it. When it comes down to it, I wouldn't rather be doing anything else right now. I enjoy the mess that is motherhood and I have plenty of time to hop on that "being a mom AND running a successful side biz" train.
I want to share a few things that I learned to an intense degree that helped me out of the insecurity and inadequacy feelings.
I want to share incase you too have felt even just one of the feelings I've covered in this post.
Tell YOUR story.
Hold on tight to YOUR joy.
YOU are YOU, and that is unique!
No one is you, and that is your power! (quote by Dave Grohl)
So yes, if and when you take look on my blog or on my Instagram (@pursuingpie), you can be certain to find endless pictures of my heart, my dream, and my daily life pursuit -- Alder and Rowan.