I love setting goals and accomplishing them! Who doesn't?!
Sometimes when the Happy New Year-ing comes around it winds up being more like Happy-uncertain-excited-hopeful-confused-not quite ready- New Year-ing; AND THAT'S OKAY.
One more time all together --- AND THAT'S OKAY!
It's okay to not feel every single (or even just one for that matter) positive emotion on days intended for celebration. Time is quick and slow and sneaky all at once and sometimes things happen so fast you don't have time to process anything going on around you or in your life. AND THAT'S OKAY TOO.
I woke up on January 1st, 2017 (yesterday.. lol) and realized I had no set goal, no set word, no groceries, and 5 loads of dirty laundry with my name on them. I realized I had LITERALLY 3 shirts that truly fit me and then the rest of my clothing (6 trash bags full) either didn't fit or were 8 years old. I realized, again, that we hadn't saved up the amount of money we kept saying we would all year long. I realized my twin babies turn 4 months old in a week. I realized a LOT in a matter of the 30 minutes. All of which were on the negative end of the spectrum and I kept piling one thing on top of the next until I quickly started spiraling downhill. I wound up in a state of "I don't even know who I am or what I'm doing with my life" and it didn't feel good. Tears upon tears upon tears to ring in my New Year. I despised the fact that my New Year, with so much to be thankful for, was being spent crying and feeling lost. This of course only made the tears flow faster. How did this happen? What was going on? Where do I go from here?
After calming down a bit, I was able to realize something on the POSITIVE spectrum what was this >> that I do in fact have a pretty good idea of who I am and what I'm doing with my life. I just don't have all the details figured out yet and again,
I am a wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.
I am a creative entrepenuer who loves cats, puzzles, and cooking.
I am honest, sometimes indecisive, and am often referred to as "funny".
I feel a lot of feelings.
I could either continue adding onto the heaping pile of emotional junk
I could look to the One who so simply and gracefully can turn it all around
I physically bowed my head and held my face in my hands.
I started a list of thankfulness out loud.
- I have a Savior who loves me EVEN like this
- I am breathing and healthy
- I have a kind, loving husband
- I have two beautiful, healthy babies
- I have a home that I love
- I have food to eat
- I have a family who cares for me
- I have friends to hug
On and on the list went.
Thankfulness is a big fat positive smack in the face isn't it?
I was struggling to be okay with not having my whole plan all together and ready to go on January FIRST. Sounds completely silly now of course. A bit of discussing and planning has happened since then (as much as can be had in 24 hours). My husband and I came up with a few things we want to implement for our New Year both individually and together as a couple.
His word is develop.
My word is balance.
We want to grow closer to the Lord and to each other.
We got a pair of books for Christmas titled "31 Creative Ways to Love and Encourage Him & Her" by Jefferson and Alyssa Bethke - One Month to a More Life Giving Relationship. So, we will be going through these books each morning for the next 31 days (remembering it's okay that it winds up falling on February 1st instead of January 31st for my OCD heart's sake). We started day one this morning and it's already shaping up to be a great decision!
Most of all, we want to be disciplined, reliable, trustworthy, and especially thankful people.
For Jesus, for ourselves, and for our children.
We know that the better we take care of ourselves, the better we can care for those around us.
Whether you start today, tomorrow, or December 31st of this year on whatever goals you come up with, the point is that you start.
Happy (2 day old) New Year everyone!