I have been asked by several people what I feel is the best part about being a twin mom and the hardest part about being a twin mom. So, I figure sharing my answers here will be good so not only everyone can read the answers here, but I'll be able to look back and remember for myself because mom brain is REAL. Anyways, here they are:
The best part in my experience with motherhood so far is simply that I get to have, hold, love, and care for TWO little humans that are made up of me and my favorite human, Jesse. I adore their sweet baby coos, their gummy smirks, and their big, bright eyes.
The hardest part in my experience with motherhood so far is that I have TWO LITTLE HUMANS! *insert a chuckle or two here* All of the cries, the feedings, the diaper changes, the exhaustion, the frustration, etc. etc. etc. (everything of course times two).
I'll take this next little bit to tell you about the tiredness I feel because doesn't it just feel better having someone else know how you're feeling? Once you get it out in the open, it's like you're not alone in it anymore.
So yeah, I'm tired. It's a type of tired I've never experienced before in my life.
It's a "I'm so tired and need a nap but know I won't get one unless Jesse is home to help with the babies and I haven't showered in 5 days and I can't tell if its me or the babies that smell worse and I want to eat because I'm hungry but that would mean I have to do the dishes but I also need to fold the laundry that I had to rewash two times because I forgot about it two times" kind of tired. This tired I feel is different from the rest I've felt because this tired is more worth it thanI have felt before. There is dedication, sweat, tears, love, and most of all, purpose, behind this tired -- double the purpose at that!
While I'm on this whole 'sharing twin mothering' thing, I want to share an experience of mine from the other day.
Last week, I was at Target with my babies in the stroller just minding my business and buying things I don't need. Up walked a lady and she exclaimed "wow! twins? I bet you wish you had one instead!" Wow. Wow. Wow. All I could think to say was *insert silence here*. I was speechless. Incase you don't know me well, it takes a LOT to make me speechless. I usually have something to say, and if not, I am pretty quick on my feet to come up with something. I had nothing. In that moment, every single challenge that twin mothering brings, VANISHED. What I did have were feelings and memories that began flooding my mind and heart. Double the love, double the cute, and double the reward. The smiles, the coos, their warm squishy bodies wrapped in my arms. I had no words. As much as I wished I had something witty to say in return, I had no words to say. I quickly became very okay with that because I knew that I had more than words could ever tell that person, or anyone else for that matter. I had an overwhelming amount of feelings and memories all stored up to keep me warm forever and ever - and this is just the beginning! Isn't that what we hold onto most in life anyways? The feelings and the memories? That's what I'm holding onto.
Whether you are a mother of one, two, three, four, etc. I just want to take a second to say GOOD FREAKING JOB! It's a difficult task keeping humans alive and well all day every day while maintaining your own basic needs let alone any wants. So please give yourself a gigantic pat on the back and eat an extra donut with an extra large cup of coffee tomorrow morning! PLEASE!?